SECTION 1.0
Executive Summary & Philosophy
This manual sets out the operational protocols, tactical frameworks, and plausible deniability procedures governing Arsenal FC's set piece operations for the 2025/26 season.
Our philosophy is simple: every set piece is an opportunity. Not merely to score, but to occupy, obstruct, delay, confuse, and where necessary, create the conditions in which the referee is unable to make a clear and confident decision.
As Head Coach Arteta has stated publicly: "Everything we do is within the rules." This manual exists to ensure that everything we do remains technically within the rules while maximising the operational grey area between legality and blatant cheating competitive advantage.
SECTION 2.0
Corner Kick Protocol — The Jover System
The corner kick represents Arsenal's primary Controlled Chaos Event (CCE). The objective is to create maximum confusion in the penalty area while maintaining the appearance of organised, legal play.
Protocol 2.1 — Operative Positioning (The Cluster Formation)
- Operatives A through D shall position themselves within 2–3 metres of each designated defensive marker.
- Operative A shall maintain body contact with the target defender's centre of gravity at the moment of delivery. This is technically legal. We have checked. Twice.
- Operative B shall position themselves between the goalkeeper and the ball's projected trajectory. If challenged, Operative B was "trying to make a run."
- Operatives C and D shall create a moving screen approximately 0.3 seconds before the ball is delivered. This is technically legal. We have checked. Three times.
- The goalkeeper shall be isolated from the ball at all costs may be impeded if contact is initiated by the goalkeeper.
Protocol 2.2 — Temporal Management (The 44.4 Second Standard)
- The minimum acceptable time between winning a corner and delivering the ball is 38 seconds.
- The target time is 44.4 seconds (the Jover Standard, as measured by Opta in 2025/26).
- During this period, operatives shall: adjust socks (×2), consult with teammates (×3), request water from the fourth official (×1), and gesture meaningfully toward the penalty area (×2).
- If the referee signals to take the corner before 38 seconds have elapsed, Operative E shall simulate a minor injury requiring the physio to enter the field of play.
The 2025/26 season has yielded 31 goals from set pieces, the highest in the Premier League. This is not an accident. This is The Process.
SECTION 3.0
Penalty Acquisition Strategy
Penalties represent the highest-value set piece event. The following protocols govern Arsenal's approach to Penalty Acquisition Operations (PAO).
Protocol 3.1 — Contact Sensitivity Training
- All forward operatives shall complete a minimum of 12 hours per week of Contact Sensitivity Training (CST).
- CST involves learning to identify, amplify, and communicate to the referee any physical contact, however minimal, within the penalty area.
- The target response time from contact to ground is 0.4 seconds. Anything above 0.6 seconds is considered a missed opportunity.
- Operative N. Madueke achieved a response time of 0.31 seconds in the Leverkusen first leg. This is the current club record. A certificate has been issued.
Protocol 3.2 — VAR Interaction Management
- In the event that VAR reviews a penalty decision, operatives shall not celebrate until the review is complete. This creates the impression of confidence rather than desperation.
- Head Coach Arteta shall position himself at the technical area boundary and maintain a neutral expression during VAR review. This has been shown to reduce the likelihood of an overturned decision by 0% an unspecified margin.
- If VAR overturns a penalty in Arsenal's favour, the Head Coach shall immediately state: "I trust the process. VAR is there to make the right decisions."
- If VAR overturns a penalty against Arsenal, the Head Coach shall immediately state: "I am really upset. I am really upset." (repeat as necessary)
SECTION 4.0
Goalkeeper Set Piece Protocols — The Raya Addendum
Following the Leverkusen second leg incident (17 March 2026), this section has been updated to clarify goalkeeper conduct during set piece situations.
Protocol 4.1 — Ball Distribution Outside the Penalty Area
- The goalkeeper shall, at all times, maintain awareness of the penalty area boundary.
- In the event that the goalkeeper exits the penalty area with the ball in hand, the following response protocol shall be activated:
- Head Coach Arteta shall state: "David was being proactive."
- The club's media team shall issue no statement.
- The VAR official shall be reminded of their contractual obligations review the incident and determine that no clear and obvious error has occurred.
- This protocol has been successfully activated once this season. Success rate: 100%.
It is noted that former PGMOL Head Keith Hackett described the Madueke penalty incident as "simulation." Mr Hackett's observations have been forwarded to our legal team noted and filed.
SECTION 5.0
Press Conference Management — The Arteta Communication Framework
Post-match communication is as important as on-pitch performance. The following framework governs all public statements regarding refereeing decisions.
Protocol 5.1 — The Selective Outrage Matrix
| Decision Type |
Approved Response |
Outrage Level |
PGMOL Contact Required |
| Penalty awarded FOR Arsenal |
"The referee made his decision. We focus on the process." |
0–2% |
No |
| Penalty NOT awarded against Arsenal |
"David was being proactive." / "He passed the ball." |
0% |
No |
| Penalty NOT awarded FOR Arsenal |
"The contact was there. Everyone saw the contact." |
85–95% |
Yes — within 24 hours |
| VAR error confirmed in Arsenal's favour |
"We don't focus on what happened. The table doesn't lie." |
0% |
No |
| VAR error confirmed against Arsenal |
"I am really upset. I am really upset." |
100% 💥 |
Yes — immediately, and also to UEFA |
SECTION 6.0
Appendix A — Season 2025/26 Set Piece Performance Review
| Metric |
Target |
Actual |
Status |
| Goals from set pieces | 25 | 31 | ✅ Exceeded |
| Average corner delivery time (seconds) | 40.0 | 44.4 | ✅ Exceeded |
| Penalties won via contact sensitivity protocol | 8 | 12 | ✅ Exceeded |
| VAR errors in Arsenal's favour | 3 | 7 | ✅ Significantly Exceeded |
| VAR errors against Arsenal acknowledged publicly | 0 | 0 | ✅ On Target |
| Trophies won | 1 | 0 | ❌ Below Target |
| Arteta "I am really upset" count | 10 | 23 | ⚠️ Review Required |
| Days without a trophy (as of 23 March 2026) | 0 | 2061+ | ❌ Significantly Below Target |